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LIFE LESSONS LEARNED

James Andrew

James Andrew

It’s not a question of IF you’ll hit a bump in the road of life, it’s more a question of how you’ll handle it when you do! I hope you’ll forgive me for this slight detour from the strictly design, travel and fashion arenas, to share a few stand-out lessons that I’ve found quite helpful along the way.

Think before you react.

As a younger man, I’d be driving down Park Avenue in my Range Rover blasting Madonna on an incredible Harmon Kardon stereo system and basically I’d be having a grand time. Then, all of a sudden a taxi driver would cut me off — remember, it’s NYC, and this occurrence is simply a given if you drive — my instant reaction would be: how dare you cut me off m..tha f..ka. That was me then. Flash forward. A slightly older (and more self-aware) me, however, started to catch this utterly self involved blind reaction—The fact is, I’d have no idea what the taxi driver’s story might be. Perhaps he/she’d be rushing to the restroom or whatever.

The point is: the choice is there for us. We can choose NOT to give up a good mood, to let go a little, and to say something like: you must be in a greater rush than me.

Don’t buy into projections (particularly where relationships are concerned).

We have a tendency to fall in love with a fantasy of people—not the truth of people. Real love – the non-deluded sort – is more about acceptance and getting to know the actuality of a person. Of course that takes a lot of awareness – to know what our mind is doing, to not fall into projection mode, and to accept the situation with some coolness and clarity. Of course, the tendency is to place way too value on our expectations of ultimate and endless present and future fulfillment from a partner. We do this with all sorts of other things in life as well! Seeing this in print here, does make those notions seem a bit ridiculous, but check and see for yourself. Relationships are a wonderful thing, it’s just that our expectations are often way over-blown and unreasonable. The point is, we have to try to remain present and in the actuality of the moment and to savor that moment—whether it’s a 24 hour or a 24 year journey together.

Realize your future now.

It may seem quite counter intuitive, but if you really want something, you’ve got to stop wanting that thing!

It’s actually much more effective to think, feel, and act as if you’ve already achieved your goal — sometimes that’s called achieving the result before the cause – one has to let go of one’s impoverished mindset, let go of one’s “less-than” attitude, and be what one wants to be. We can literally joy our way to manifest our wildest dreams and desires right now—if anything, it sure beats wallowing in habitual pain and frustration.

Be grateful.

This actually ties into the above. Operating from a place of gratitude is so very powerful. I constantly say ‘thank you’ for all that I wish to happen in my life even before it arrives. Healing, abundance, answers etc. — these things only happen with open hands and a heart full of gratitude.

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Posing in front of a statue depicting “Force,” I’m hoping that a few of these ideas resonate with you! Sporting a Tom Ford pink silk “Spencer” jacket, brown and pink floral shirt,brown and ivory silk Glen plaid silk pocket square, brown leather belt with rose gold buckle, vintage Rolex, white Uniqlo jeans, Tom Ford era brown and pink suede loafers, Tom Ford “Cyrille” sunglasses, my fragrance is Eau d’ Italie’s Paestum Rose.

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22 Comments

  1. Thank you James for your words of wisdom and inspiration! Your more spiritual detours from the blog always seem to come around at the perfect time where I personally need to remind myself of all that youve written about here. You are a beautiful person inside and out darling!

    And by the way the pink is smashing on you!

    XO

    Michael

  2. thanks for the good reminders.

  3. Terence Mack says:

    Like they say, the difference between an ordeal and an adventure is attitude!

  4. jack early says:

    Big fan! Thanks for the tips on life!

  5. Regina says:

    Amen…with Amor!

  6. La Contessa says:

    You write beautifully.What was your major in college?I totally understand your point and feel I have arrived there just these past few years!I had an epithiny one year driving down the freeway.THIS IS IT.THIS IS MY LIFE.It’s a good LIFE not a GRAND LIFE but a good LIFE and I am very happy with it.Of course,calling myself LA CONTESSA has helped a lot!That has brought me a richer LIFE and lots of good friends and laughs through this BLOGGING community!I am learning and trying to be a LADY at all times.I hope you two have a wonderful long weekend somewhere elegant and full of sunshine!XX

  7. James Andrew says:

    My Dear Michael Hampton,

    I sometimes wonder if getting off track is a good idea – but I am so moved to want to share these ideas that have been of such tremendous help to me in my own life.

    Thrilled to hear they were just what you needed!

    Cheers

    JA

  8. James Andrew says:

    Dear Pigtown Design,

    I quite often need a few reminders myself!

    Cheers

    JA

  9. James Andrew says:

    My Dear Terence Mack,

    I couldn’t agree more- it is quite often shifts in perception and awareness that change worlds.

    Cheers

    JA

  10. James Andrew says:

    Dear Dean,

    Happy to hear you agree!

    Cheers

    JA

  11. James Andrew says:

    Dear Jack Early,

    Thank You and wonderful to hear that so many are enjoying these ideas I shared!

    Cheers

    JA

  12. James Andrew says:

    Darling Regina,

    Amen – very powerful word!

    Kisses from NYC

    JA

  13. James Andrew says:

    My Darling La Contessa,

    Sadly these life changing concepts are not so readily available- happily I think that is slowly changing.

    I wish I had known much more of this when I was in my 20’s.

    You are in inspiration and your blog is I am sure helping many people to step up and be the stars that they are destined to be!

    Your blog is a wonderful vehicle to share your very own unique light with the world.

    Shine on my exquisite friend and have an elegant and joyous weekend!

    Much Love

    JA

  14. Anitpodean says:

    Great look Mr. The pink, brown and white looks sensational; especially on you.

    Thank you for sharing your particularly sage thoughts. A wonderful diversion from the awesome fabulousness that is WIJW.

    Much love from the other side of the world….

  15. James Andrew says:

    Hello My Dear Anitpodean,

    Would be lovely to do a WIJW? Down Under!

    Always so happy to hear that our friends here are enjoying some of these diversions. It really is all part of the whole world we are trying to promote.

    Much Love

    JA

  16. Lady C.E. Pointmanteau II says:

    James, darling
    How ever so insightful. I have found your blog after years of futile meanderings through the online jungle and it has swept me away with its fragrant flatulence.
    I look forward to several more life lessons from within that gorgeously well kept soul of yours. You are truly a unique flower, darling.

    Per chance, have you visited Boganvilleshire lately? The blooms are magnificient this time of year.

    Yours, with lessons learned, Lady C. E. Pointmanteau II

  17. Anitpodean says:

    James

    We need you down under, NOW!

    I simply insist.

    Ax

  18. James Andrew says:

    My Dear Lady C. E. Pointmanteau II,

    I am so happy to hear you have discovered my humble blog and are enjoying my musings on style and taste.

    No I have not visited Boganvilleshire today- perhaps you could be kind enough to share the address with me.

    Cheers

    JA

  19. Linda says:

    Pearls of wisdom. Beautifully written. Sorry to be so late. I was in the north of the midwest for a family event, stayed on a bit and got behind in my reading.

    Thank you.

  20. Linda says:

    forgot: you look so good in PINK!

  21. James Andrew says:

    My Dear Linda,

    Thank You and trust you had a lovely visit with family!

    So happy to hear that so many enjoyed some of these ideas shared!

    Much Love

    JA

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